A Plea for Help and Assistance

I have been struggling with my transition and these last two weeks have been outstanding. I finally found a primary physician who is willing to assist me in my transition and my other medical ailments, and a counselor who, though not fully up to speed with the medical needs of LGBT patients, is willing to do his own research to assist me in my endeavors.

I am looking forward to meeting with my endocrinologist around the 31st of July, as I have to reschedule the appointment due to another family member getting a surgery out of state that day. I have to babysit those three days (30, 31 July and 1 Aug). Not getting paid for it, either.

My plea comes from the heart. I am unemployed and have been for since the beginning of June. The job I had was not paying me every week I was working, just alternate weeks and had taken money out of my last check to pay a friend who worked there. (Took it out without my permission.) Also, he let me go because I informed the business owner, the office manager and my supervisor that I was not gay (as they had suspected, since I applied a a guy at my friend’s insistence) and that I was a woman and identified myself as female.

I put my plea on Facebook a few days ago at the behest of a close friend of mine from Iowa. I had four people offer me assistance, but of those 4, only one could offer some kind of funds. My friend in Iowa is in the process of sending me $18. It’s a start, but it’s not the whole amount. My first visit with my endocrinologist is going to be $355, not to mention medicine and hormones.

I asked one of my nieces, one who’s closer to me in age than any of my other nieces, to see if she could assist me in this. Here’s my plea:
– – – – –
i know it’s been a while. i love you no matter what. hope all’s good for you and yours.
i posted about having issues with my endocrinologist on the 31st and they want $355 for my first visit! ouch@
i’m asking for a small bit, not all of it. i had to plead my case and ask. i have had 3 replies (one was an offer of $18) the rest were b/c they were in the middle of their own crises.
could you help?
– – – – –

This is her response:
– – – – –
I have 3 children to take care of. ur kidding right? i havent seen or heard from u in how long? just seens rude to me that u rnt doin this for yourself. its ur journey, no one else’s! ask them, the ones ur living w or, another idea, get a job or seek assistance from the state for medical. i cant help u n wont. sorry. my kids need all we have, so do our bills.
– – – – –
[Inserted punctuation. – RobynnP]

So I retorted with:
– – – – –
i have been looking for work since i got to mississippi and had one, until i informed my bosses of my transition and what my goals were. i got fired over it. still cannot find work. anton and shaun don’t have the extra cash to spare; anton’s struggling for hours @ walmart. i have a hearing for SSD sometime in the next 20 months AND all i can get here is food stamps. everything else i have to pay for out of pocket– there’s no agencies or free clinics anywhere in mississippi– i’m running out of things to sell and i’m going to be starting with body parts soon. so why not cut me a little slack. i was only asking to see if you could spare a small amount (like $5.00 or so); not the entire frakking bill! i know it’s a struggle for everyone in this shit economy. i’ve had 17 interviews since getting fired at the beginning of june; no one wants to hire me. NO ONE! trying to get online work, that’s tough too. all i have is my games company and i’ve been struggling with that for almost 5 years (longer if you consider my loosely starting it back in 1995), and my computer repair/virus removal services. that’s hard to get work, tho i have business cards, and have put them out; no one wants to hire someone that has a long-distance number, even if i have the word LOCAL on the cards! you seem to think that i’m not trying. you seem to think that i’m taking this out on you; i am not. that’s not what i am seeking nor is that of any intent or goal. i am doing whatever i can to get this taken care of and with your attitude and sarcasm, i’d rather sell my soul to the devil and tell all of my family to *^@# off. you hurt me to the core by assuming i’m not helping myself. you can stick your sarcasm elsewhere. i will never ask you for anything again.
– – – – –
[Edited for names and cursing –RobynnP]

I am understandably upset. Moreso, I feel very depressed when someone whom I love dearly kicks me when I’m down like this. I feel so self-conscious and less than human when people whom I trust and seemed to be allies decide that I’m no longer worth their time and love.

What can I do? I’d sell a kidney for $25,000 if I knew it would be a legitimate practice and it was going to help some needy child live longer. I’d even donate my ‘male parts’ (that would be discarded during my Gender Affirmation Surgery) to a transgender FtM so he can be and feel whole. (I know someone who would benefit greatly from it, my brother-in-arms, Toren. Just wondering if he’d be willing… Just wondering…)

I don’t want to go to extremes, here, but I need help with this. If I had an opportunity to do some graphic design work for an advertising agency or a graphic design company to design banners, logos and other such things. I just don’t know where to turn.

I have contacted The Ellen Degeneres Show on several occasions only to get no response. My latest was just yesterday (24 July). I was trying to explain about myself and what I’m struggling with and what has happened with me since last October (October 2012), but it’s a little hard with a rough 2000 characters. I would love to have some kind of exposure and some kind of assistance to get me up and running, able to transition, work and make a living to support this, but it seems that I can’t even rub two sticks together to make fire, much less make money with it.

If there was anyone out there with any information that could help me, please drop it to me and/or send it my way. Please, anything would help: information, pre-paid pre-loaded debit card, cashiers’ check or personal check; whatever you may be willing to help me with would be greatly appreciated.

I am looking forward to my surgery, I’d welcome cameras and media coverage if anyone would be interested in that. (I’m looking squarely at you LogoTV!) Please, I’d even sell my story to Lifetime or LogoTV so I can pay my bills and get on the right track.

PLEASE HELP…

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4 thoughts on “A Plea for Help and Assistance

  1. I don’t know how to put this mildly, but you are playing victim and you won’t win friends by making people wrong because they can’t assist you No one owes you and no one is kicking you while you are down and you had better stop whining and take control of your own life. If you are going to transition you need to get creative and think outside the box.
    If you are unemployed and not receiving unemployment benefits then you have no income and can apply for public assistance, for food, energy bills, rent, cash assistance and out of pocket medical bills not covered by insurance. They will require you to register for work if you are under 60 years old or not otherwise disabled.
    It is not shameful to do this because that is what its for, to assist people in need. You have internet access and you can do the research and even apply for assistance and for work online. As to your doctor’s bill, you can send $10 a month until its paid off and the doctor can’t send the bill to a collection agency as long as you pay regularly. I am living on Social Security and I have insurance through a Federal Program and my premiums are $160 a month but what my insurance doesn’t cover, including anything to do with my transition, I have to pay out of pocket. I currently have 6 medical bills to pay off and I send them $15 a month and will be doing that for a couple of years.
    Deanna Joy

    • By the way, when you have GRS, your penis and scrotum without the testicles will be used to construct a neo-vagina, vulva and clitoris, not simply discarded as you might think. All the information you need is on the internet, if you but look for it,

      • omtgf says:

        i am aware of these things. it’s the internal spongy shaft material of the penis shaft, the testicles, were the items i was referring to. these will be discarded.
        thank you. ^_^

    • omtgf says:

      Thank you for your comments. I do appreciate where you’re coming from. ^_^ My biggest issue was the sarcasm and disrespect she showed me in her reply (in my blog). I was angry about it all– the condescending tones and her seeming lack of compassion and friendship.
      I totally understand about finding work, anywhere, but I’m not about to take advice from people to have me “revert back” to that “guy lie” I had to perpetrate for so long! That’s not in the cards anymore. I want to be independent and offer my services to anyone, graphic art and fonts, and to assist anyone who needs some forms created. (This is the stuff I enjoy doing and am working on setting up a free website for that; to show some of my wares.) I have put in many applications for work, physical locations that require online application and those of online telecommute work. No one seems to want to hire anyone these days; I’ve been told I was over-qualified. It happens far too often with interviews when I present myself as female and the interviewers can’t quite decide to hire me or not.
      I wasn’t trying to sound like the victim in this post/blog. I guess it does sound that way… LOL That was not my intention. I wanted to express my disappointment in one of my closest relatives and to show my dismay, but I let my emotions get the better of me, I think. >_< Again, never my intention.
      I think there are a few things that I can do to get ahead, but I am awaiting my SSD hearing and am trying to cope with this latest in doctors appointments. My computer repair/virus removal side business is bringing in some funds but not even $100 per month. I'm lucky to get $50 a month, and that goes for 1/2 the internet, meds and essentials for me. I have been applying for medical grants, but nothing's come in yet nor has there been any word/replies. patience is a virtue, but it seems that I still have much to learn. LOL

      Thank you for your reply and being a friend. I will take all of this under advisement and just try to roll with this. I am still new to this journey and feel wonderful when I'm not dealing with bills and bad attitudes. Thank you so very much for your insight.

      ~RobynnP

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