A Plea for Help and Assistance

I have been struggling with my transition and these last two weeks have been outstanding. I finally found a primary physician who is willing to assist me in my transition and my other medical ailments, and a counselor who, though not fully up to speed with the medical needs of LGBT patients, is willing to do his own research to assist me in my endeavors.

I am looking forward to meeting with my endocrinologist around the 31st of July, as I have to reschedule the appointment due to another family member getting a surgery out of state that day. I have to babysit those three days (30, 31 July and 1 Aug). Not getting paid for it, either.

My plea comes from the heart. I am unemployed and have been for since the beginning of June. The job I had was not paying me every week I was working, just alternate weeks and had taken money out of my last check to pay a friend who worked there. (Took it out without my permission.) Also, he let me go because I informed the business owner, the office manager and my supervisor that I was not gay (as they had suspected, since I applied a a guy at my friend’s insistence) and that I was a woman and identified myself as female.

I put my plea on Facebook a few days ago at the behest of a close friend of mine from Iowa. I had four people offer me assistance, but of those 4, only one could offer some kind of funds. My friend in Iowa is in the process of sending me $18. It’s a start, but it’s not the whole amount. My first visit with my endocrinologist is going to be $355, not to mention medicine and hormones.

I asked one of my nieces, one who’s closer to me in age than any of my other nieces, to see if she could assist me in this. Here’s my plea:
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i know it’s been a while. i love you no matter what. hope all’s good for you and yours.
i posted about having issues with my endocrinologist on the 31st and they want $355 for my first visit! ouch@
i’m asking for a small bit, not all of it. i had to plead my case and ask. i have had 3 replies (one was an offer of $18) the rest were b/c they were in the middle of their own crises.
could you help?
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This is her response:
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I have 3 children to take care of. ur kidding right? i havent seen or heard from u in how long? just seens rude to me that u rnt doin this for yourself. its ur journey, no one else’s! ask them, the ones ur living w or, another idea, get a job or seek assistance from the state for medical. i cant help u n wont. sorry. my kids need all we have, so do our bills.
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[Inserted punctuation. – RobynnP]

So I retorted with:
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i have been looking for work since i got to mississippi and had one, until i informed my bosses of my transition and what my goals were. i got fired over it. still cannot find work. anton and shaun don’t have the extra cash to spare; anton’s struggling for hours @ walmart. i have a hearing for SSD sometime in the next 20 months AND all i can get here is food stamps. everything else i have to pay for out of pocket– there’s no agencies or free clinics anywhere in mississippi– i’m running out of things to sell and i’m going to be starting with body parts soon. so why not cut me a little slack. i was only asking to see if you could spare a small amount (like $5.00 or so); not the entire frakking bill! i know it’s a struggle for everyone in this shit economy. i’ve had 17 interviews since getting fired at the beginning of june; no one wants to hire me. NO ONE! trying to get online work, that’s tough too. all i have is my games company and i’ve been struggling with that for almost 5 years (longer if you consider my loosely starting it back in 1995), and my computer repair/virus removal services. that’s hard to get work, tho i have business cards, and have put them out; no one wants to hire someone that has a long-distance number, even if i have the word LOCAL on the cards! you seem to think that i’m not trying. you seem to think that i’m taking this out on you; i am not. that’s not what i am seeking nor is that of any intent or goal. i am doing whatever i can to get this taken care of and with your attitude and sarcasm, i’d rather sell my soul to the devil and tell all of my family to *^@# off. you hurt me to the core by assuming i’m not helping myself. you can stick your sarcasm elsewhere. i will never ask you for anything again.
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[Edited for names and cursing –RobynnP]

I am understandably upset. Moreso, I feel very depressed when someone whom I love dearly kicks me when I’m down like this. I feel so self-conscious and less than human when people whom I trust and seemed to be allies decide that I’m no longer worth their time and love.

What can I do? I’d sell a kidney for $25,000 if I knew it would be a legitimate practice and it was going to help some needy child live longer. I’d even donate my ‘male parts’ (that would be discarded during my Gender Affirmation Surgery) to a transgender FtM so he can be and feel whole. (I know someone who would benefit greatly from it, my brother-in-arms, Toren. Just wondering if he’d be willing… Just wondering…)

I don’t want to go to extremes, here, but I need help with this. If I had an opportunity to do some graphic design work for an advertising agency or a graphic design company to design banners, logos and other such things. I just don’t know where to turn.

I have contacted The Ellen Degeneres Show on several occasions only to get no response. My latest was just yesterday (24 July). I was trying to explain about myself and what I’m struggling with and what has happened with me since last October (October 2012), but it’s a little hard with a rough 2000 characters. I would love to have some kind of exposure and some kind of assistance to get me up and running, able to transition, work and make a living to support this, but it seems that I can’t even rub two sticks together to make fire, much less make money with it.

If there was anyone out there with any information that could help me, please drop it to me and/or send it my way. Please, anything would help: information, pre-paid pre-loaded debit card, cashiers’ check or personal check; whatever you may be willing to help me with would be greatly appreciated.

I am looking forward to my surgery, I’d welcome cameras and media coverage if anyone would be interested in that. (I’m looking squarely at you LogoTV!) Please, I’d even sell my story to Lifetime or LogoTV so I can pay my bills and get on the right track.

PLEASE HELP…