New Found Inspiration

I recently learned of Amy Lee’s contributions to many parts of life, and her singing is over the top, and not promoting sex and sexual imagery; it makes me proud to listen to Evanescence knowing women will never be exploited (not even Amy Lee herself) to further her music.

I know, in my heart, that her message comes through her music, whether it’s a heartfelt sorrow for not knowing her late sister that well, to the epilepsy foundation she is the international chairperson of, it all comes down to never compromising to get heard and never letting your fans down because of following the record labels means creating with the greatest common denominator:  sacrificing quality, sacrificing integrity and sacrificing the message that’s in your soul that has to come out!  No one should have to bow down to the record companies to “sell” your music:  it should come from the heart and soul, have a greater meaning than just the lyrics, and show others that you care and believe in your own talent and music.

I have been listening to Evanescence’s “Evanescence Deluxe Version” released in 2011 on Spotify and I am mostly in tears as I can feel her soulful rock pull soothingly at my heartstrings.  She makes me feel so much more than what I am, what I look like, and to make me feel even more female than I ever have.  Don’t get me wrong, there are a handful of songs that I truly love from Abba, but those are more love, single, and first 70s genre anthems than those of Amy Lee which makes me feel so much more than the sum of my parts; Abba tends to be upbeat and happy, but Evanescence tends to be darker, deeply meaningful and completely soulful.

Don’t think of me as being a dark and moody person, though I can be when I feel the need to, I just feel that there’s more to life than just being moody and dark.  I also feel loved and happy, but Abba’s only for those times when I feel kind of down but not depressed, just kind of under the weather…  The Evanescence I listen to a lot of the time, just to get a fresh perspective on the things that I create, the things that I need some insight on other than what I think it should be, and for those things that need more attention.  It’s not that there’s anything wrong with Abba or Evanescence, there are many more groups and musicians that inspire me.  There’s so many that I am loathe to list them all.

We all struggle to find, not only a uniqueness that is truly our own, we often times forget to be ourselves.  Standing in the world, feet planted firmly in the realization that all that makes us great rests inside, somewhere…  Some of us discover it rather early, and some catch it or even a small glimpse later in life.  That’s perfectly normal for us to discover all that potential, no matter where we find it, and put forth a brave face and carry on with our lives, protected by the knowledge that we, all over this great world, are a part of something much larger than each of us individually:  we are a global society!

Inspiration comes in many different forms.  A quick and distorted guitar riff; a barely-audible odd sounding note in a piano chord; a harmony of woodwinds on a snowy clear night; the cacophony of ducks and swans early at the park; the way the leaves wave in the light morning breeze; listening to a happy baby’s laugh; having such a deep full-body laugh for a few minutes bringing tears to your eyes…  I could go on.  Inspiration can come from aromas and smells; touches of various textures and textiles; the taste of something sweet or something horrible, barely palatable; colors in a crayon box; pleasant or disturbing visuals on YouTube that make you think and make you feel.  Art, no matter the outlet, no matter the canvas, no matter the audience you’re trying to reach, is absolutely positively nothing without it being discovered first.

Salvador Dali has extreme talent, and was not exactly popular.  Once he found his muse (using drugs at the time), he became more inspired throughout the rest of his artistic career.  (I am not condoning drug use, but he had used it for inspiration.  How do you think he came up with the melting timepieces?  Just saying…)  Picasso also had these bouts of ill health and was prescribed certain drugs to help him cope.  He, too, had his shift in design and style based on those same drugs to make him feel better…  Music inspires other musicians; Beethoven, being a great composer, lost his hearing slowly, and in the latter portion of his life was completely deaf.  There were two famous composers who would listen to Beethoven’s works, and became inspired partly due to his compositional prowess, but because of his not being able to hear his own work!

I am inspired from almost everything I come in contact with.  Now that I am no longer with my 13-year former fiancee, I feel more alive and free than I ever have!  Don’t get me wrong, I do love her still, but I just wish she would look past her personal confusion and into the very heart of me; looking deep inside us both, for the friendship and caring we shared for those many years.  I know she will, but not until she comes to grips with her own demons.

It is these things, and my former fiancee, that help to inspire me in much of what I do.  It’s just so hard to look at people, watching them struggle because of the blatantly obvious or sweating all of the little stuff, when they’re watching their lives, and in a good number of cases, their loves slip through their fingers.  Even these things offer inspiration, but I know there’s going to be something good soon; something never experienced before, and it will come to all of us, once we believe we can accept ourselves as we are, and to rebuke society for their forceful stereotypes.

Be you.  Be free.  Get inspired!

~Robynn

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