My Newest Hurdle

The whole issue I have now, after I met a beautiful TG woman on a TG dating site, is the fact that I’ve fallen for her like I did for my first love (almost 2 decades ago). My current ‘fiancee’, if you can call her that, wants so bad to have me stay as ‘a man’ that it’s hurting me and my growth as a TG female.
I am torn. Torn between two worlds and nothing seems to be how I need to perceive life! I love my fiancee. She’s been with me, thick and thin, for almost 14 years. My TG GF has been with me for about 3 to 4 weeks; we converse on Skype and Facebook; we share pics of each other (no nudity or anything that can be considered porn), and music. I just don’t really know where to go with this.
If I tell Tami, we’re through. We’re roommates at best. If I don’t and she suspects, I could be out of a place to call home. I have informed my family and my close friends of my needs and needed changes, even started a new Facebook profile, and went from there. If L finds out I’m taking hormones and suspects it, I’m out on my ear for sure! Two of my sisters, Tina and Bobbi, are taking my decision with respect, and to respect my decision in the process. I wouldn’t want that any other way!
I have been offered a place once Tina settles in Wisconsin, which isn’t for another few weeks or months (I just now forgot what it was she said… >__< I would love to get this taken care of and start; I will have to wait another week or so before I can talk to her… No way around it.
I am in the process of getting ready to go to a friend's house and set up an AD&D session. It's a new campaign, in a known classic setting but with a twist, and we're going to use a hybridized version of AD&D 2nd Edition (TSR) and D&D 2nd Edition (WotC). I will allow all of the Saving Throws for BOTH systems, and use my own, in order to bring a little different feel to the games. I'm pretty good at it, though I'm out of practice. LOL
I want to be one of the few TG women who love RPGs, video games (even games like Borderlands and Gears of War) of all kinds and hybrids, and nearly all kinds of music from classical to rap to metal to bluegrass! Oh yeah! I also want to be one of those TG women who will speak my mind about issues that affect all of us, not just those in the LGBTQ community. I want to show everyone, worldwide, that just because I was born into a man's body, I'm not any less a woman!
I also posted on my Facebook account and that TG dating site a blog entry called "Open Letter to the Uninformed, the Bigots and the Haters". It's an allegory about some things that were frowned upon when no one knew what transsexual and transgender really meant, those who put our fore-brothers and fore-sisters into institutions and lobotomized them to make them fit into society (to forcibly change their minds about it) or making them into vegetables (or worse). It's also a rant, a blast and a tirade all rolled into one crazy neat package. I'm not condoning the perpetual hate cycles that surround, not only the LBGTQ community, but everyone involved in whatever beliefs you may have, and some of those are quite unintelligent, misinformed and hateful. I am a Christian by choice and a TG by design! I didn't choose to have to be placed in this facade, I was dropped into it (probably because there were too few female bodies available to be born when I was conceived.) They say God works in mysterious ways; I think he has one heck of a sense of humor, too!
Please read that blog, too. I think it's impressive, and a little harsh, but it makes several points. We were thought of as 'a blight on society'. We were told 'you have to conform or suffer'. We were led to believe our 'binary gender' system was the only way to 'label children' as one or the other gender; never allowing those children to determine what their gender role is. (We still live in a world like that, and we're trying, ever so hard, to help in that change.)
Let's all fight the good fight! Let's all Change what we can change! Be Yourself! Be Real! Be True!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s