Taking apart that which squeals
Makes one wonder how to heal.
Given the parts of the whole are there,
What is bunching my underwear?
I tried to make it happen with my own two hands,
Clasping the needles and pumping the gas.
The pain and blood force me bigger,
Making me feel ever smaller.
No two things have come to pass,
That I think of expanding with that gas.
Cans of dusting air are what I’ve used,
Forcing it into my temporary curves.
Harder and harder,
Faster and faster,
It goes in and get bigger.
As it deflates and I return to a semi-normal size,
I wonder what it can do for my thighs.
I’m not making fun of my plight,
I just want to stop this painful fight!
Help me to make the best of this.
I need to feel like I’m complete.
No longer miserable and unhappy
Seeking the stars in the sky and wondering…
Wondering where has my darkness gone?
Fighting with my own hands for the release,
The release of me!
My metamorphosis complete!
And the feeling of relief,
That comes from the grief
I feel when people stare in disbelief
That I’m going on this daring journey…
Fighting alongside those who have progressed
Into the Void of Nothingness
Fighting to find my Happiness
And to return with my body Unblessed,
Made to look like I feel I look…
Past the Darkness…
Past the Denied!
And back into the Void,
Where Darkness can hide.
Let me be me,
Not the sum of my Gallantry!
That phallus symbol you claim as your own,
Is not yours but borrowed as you had grown!
That piece of stem you hold onto so dear,
Is as withered as that ignorance you fear.
I love you on my own accord,
So be it that you’re so cardboard–
A cut out so vile and weak,
Makes me think
Your style is Greek,
Because of the blather you’re spouting
Makes no sense to me, as my outing
Seems to make no sense to you!
I outed myself from this false gender role,
All you can say is that you love that false role!
That sham of a man,
Who is not the sum of his parts,
But the total sum of his being, his body, his love and his heart!
Take it or leave it!
I came! I saw! I transitioned!
For the betterment of My Psyche!
“Thank you and good night!”